Lifestyle, Parenting

Autistic isn’t who they are………

I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front of late.  I’ve had a few weeks where things haven’t gone great in terms of getting the right provision for both my lovely boys. As you may know, both happen to be Autistic. It’s all been a bit of a poop fight. It’s exhausting and I’m damn angry that it has to be so difficult to get the support my children need. I can’t really go into the in’s and out’s as it’s all a bit sensitive and ongoing, but I feel soul destroyed.

Not just because everything seems a battle – we look to people to various authorities to help our children, thinking that as a society, we should help those that need it most. To help those who bloody well deserve a chance to fulfil their potential.

This is not the case. It’s not enough to get a diagnosis of ASD. In a first world society you would think so. It’s not. I’m am struggling with the fact I must prove at every turn why my children deserve help. Why they need extra support. Basically, I must constantly harp on about the things they cannot do. Its’ exhausting and it breaks my heart.

Of course, there are things they find difficult. That goes without saying.  But I wanted to write a post to celebrate the things they can do.  They are just children who happen to be on the Autistic Spectrum. I hate the term some people use….” Autism makes them who they are……….” ……………no, it doesn’t. Autism can have a big influence on their interests, dislikes and behaviours. Autism is a very small part of who there are, not their whole being.

So, the trials and tribulations of the last few weeks, prompted me to write this post. Not only to celebrate the things my two boys are good at, but to give you an idea about their personalities, what they love, what makes them laugh…………so they are not seen as just children with Autism. So first up…..it’s Monty.

Monty – he not just Autistic

  • He loves being with his family
  • We have called him Moo Moo since he was a baby
  • He adores his brother
  • He has the most wicked sense of humour
  • He has a giggle that will bring a smile to anyone’s face
  • His favourite food is ham, egg and chips
  • He loves going out for lunch
  • He is brilliant at adding and taking away
  • His reading is amazing
  • He loves football
  • He is great at playing football
  • His favourite football player is Eden Hazard (and Mummy’s, but for different reasons……LOL)
  • He loves swimming and can do back flips in the water
  • His teacher calls him Marvellous Monty
  • When he loves an activity, he gives it his all and gets very good at it
  • He loves making cakes
  • He is kind
  • He loves cuddles and kisses
  • He loves having is face stroked whilst going to sleep
  • He loves telling jokes
  • He loves his friend Jack

Theo – hes not just Autistic

  • He makes everyone smile
  • His nickname is ‘Bipper’
  • He loves playing peek-a-boo
  • He is very good at puzzles
  • He is awesome at climbing
  • He has no fear
  • He will cry if someone gets hurt on the TV
  • He gets sad if someone else is sad
  • He loves dancing
  • He loves being outside with nature
  • He adores animals – especially pug dogs
  • His favourite thing to do is drawing and painting
  • He has recently tried to count to 10
  • He loves tickles
  • His favourite food is sausages and ice cream
  • He’s always smiling
  • He always puts things back in the right place
  • He is beautiful and has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen
  • He is very easy going and chilled
  • He loves reading his books
  • He loves babies
  • He loves going to walks in his buggy
  • He can now use a fork to eat with

So, there we are, a little insight into my children, their interests and what they CAN do. At the end of the day, they are two boys, who have their own personalities like any other child. They are not JUST autistic – this isn’t their entire make up or who they are.

When Theo started to go through the diagnosis process, people often said….” Well at least you know what you are doing and how to handle it, you’ve done it before……….”.  Err no I don’t.  Monty and Theo are like chalk and cheese. Their traits are so different! What worked with one, doesn’t work for the other. Why would it anyway? Just because they both have autism doesn’t mean they should be the same, like any other siblings can be, they are totally different, and I think that’s fabulous!

So, lets celebrate our children and focus on what they can do – because quite frankly, these lists are ever growing and I’m beyond proud of them!

Click here to read more about our Autism journey 

7 Comments on “Autistic isn’t who they are………

  1. Suzie, you are one amazing women & mother, your boys are so fortunate to have you fighting their corner in a world where you need to fight for every single thing that they need and deserve!! You keep fighting for those things girl, so proud of you xxxx

  2. Thank you. I feel exactly the same. Although my daughter hasn’t got an official diagnosis apart from ‘she is an interesting case’, ‘I find her fascinating’ and ‘she is a bag of contadictions’ I totally get what you mean.
    Although everything takes FOREVER I do feel she is getting excellent help but to get it I am constantly focusing on all the things she can’t do. The things that make her the Martha I know and love but to others those little quirks are what make her who she is.
    She is Martha. My beautiful, happy, lively, funny, determined little girl, who also happens to be non verbal, makes little eye contact and ignores every child around her apart from her little brother (and I think that’s simply because he forces himself upon her in the ‘that is my big sister and I totally idolise her’ sort of way).
    I Love her way of communicating, with squeals and chirps and ‘turkey talk’ because it’s comforting and reassuring that she is happy. To others it is high pitched and hurts their ears or ‘goes right through them’. I love that feeling when she makes eye contact with you spontaneously and she looks right at you and you swear she can see inside of you. Others think she isn’t paying attention and is rude (she is 2.5 lol)
    I love when I turn around and catch a moment between her and her brother and couldn’t really care less if she does it with other children. Or when she connects with another child for a spilt second then is gone and the other child or parent think she is ignoring there precious child ‘who only wants to play’.
    I have only just come across your blog but I am now looking forward to future ones I can relate too!!!
    What others can’t ‘see’ is that she can do basic maths, has been able to do shape sorters since 8 months and is now on 30 peice puzzles with ease, or that she can paint a fish or elephant and it would give 6 year old a run for there money, or that today, for the first time she signed ‘I love you’ to me.
    She can’t do a lot of things but I wouldn’t change any of that because she wouldn’t be who she is if she could. However I sometimes I wish the world would be a bit easier for her has she gets older.

    1. Your daughter sounds fabulous! My Theo is also 2.5 years old and he is quite the character! I think when they are non-verbal any way they communicate is so precious – I have very much learnt to appreciate the simple things that they do. Theo pointed at a cat today and I was beside myself!!

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